We have found the question of the “perfect session” in some forum, where the questioner aimed to explore how striving for “technical perfection” affects the dynamics of the event: Isn’t it off-putting when the active participant is too concerned with the technical aspects?
We believe that perfection and dynamism are not opposites: only when the session gains its own momentum can it become “perfect”: simply going through a plan usually doesn’t result in a brilliant moment – and only works with a very, very passive sub.
Many people seem to understand perfection simply in terms of craftsmanship, while others associate it with stagnation or the achievement of a previously imagined ideal, after which there can be no further improvements.
For us, “perfect” isn’t something static or rigidly defined. A BDSM session is perfect when it couldn’t have been better: not in terms of all the wild possibilities and escalations the mind can imagine, but measured by how satisfied the participants are afterward: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If a session gets entangled in overly technical details, feelings and spirit are neglected – it won’t be perceived as “perfect.” For example, if Dom spends ages fiddling with a bondage technique he hasn’t yet mastered, Sub will soon feel ignored, as Dom’s attention is focused on the correct knot and not on her, or rather, on what he wants to “do” to her with the ropes.
This feeling makes the scene “imperfect,” at least for the submissive – and the dominant probably doesn’t feel like a champion either when they realize that the bondage plan isn’t quite as easy to execute as they thought. However, the dominant now has MORE options to turn things around than just finally optimizing the “technical aspects” (which is, of course, always desirable!).
He can compensate for technical difficulties on a psychological level by communicating with his sub during the perhaps somewhat clumsy “rope ikebana” in such a way that they perceive his “imperfect” ropework as a humiliating imposition or feel ashamed of their impatience / lust / pain-seeking . A good Dom dominates the situation by imposing their own interpretation of what’s happening, which makes the sub look inadequate despite their technical shortcomings – and suddenly everything is right again!
If none of the levels (body, mind, emotions) are neglected, there is a good chance that the participants will experience a subjectively “perfect session”, even if Dom did NOT have this or that completely mastered.
Want to test it yourself? Call us and book an amazingly hot, really imperfect domination escort, that will give you the perfect session. We don’t even think you’ll be allowed to say it’s not perfect.