An uncomfortable topic that many of us have encountered before: Erectile dysfunction is a phenomenon that plagues men, and inevitably women as well, and drives them to despair. And because it concerns you, it concerns us, because your love life is important to us. In our guide, we address topics that are uncomfortable, have complex backgrounds, or raise many questions. Today, we’re talking about the best part and how it sometimes doesn’t want what its honorable owner wants. Here you’ll learn exactly what erectile dysfunction is, what the possible causes are, and what treatment options exist.
What exactly is erectile dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction is defined as the “difficulty of getting and keeping an erection” of the penis. If the penis simply won’t get erect or doesn’t stay erect long enough, it could be erectile dysfunction. The phenomenon is only considered a disease when intercourse is permanently impossible. This also means that it’s completely normal for the penis to not cooperate. There are many factors that can lead to this in men. For example, extreme stress or tension can cause the penis to not stay erect. So if the situation becomes very oppressive for him and sex becomes a pressure, you can’t rely on your usual staying power.
Many men experience this phenomenon when they want to have children and have to function “at the push of a button.” But financial worries, a stressful period at work, an STD or a shocking event can also sometimes trigger this unpleasant phenomenon. And it’s hard to believe, but a soft penis can also be a compliment: It can happen that a man is so attracted to a woman that he becomes nervous and fears that he’s not enough. This also causes stress for him and prevents his penis from becoming erect, even with the best of intentions. However, if the penis remains permanently erect (for at least six months) or only for a short time, making sex impossible, medical advice is required.
Some possible causes?
A urologist can take a closer look. The doctor is very familiar with the problem and also knows which diseases can cause this symptom. In some cases, a flaccid penis can be a lifesaver if this symptom reveals a previously undetected illness. The likelihood of erectile dysfunction increases with age, so the older you are, the more frequently the problem occurs. In younger men, the psychological component is much more serious, which is why seeing a therapist is often the right approach. Possible anxiety disorders, depression, or traumatic sexual experiences can be processed here, and the problem can be resolved. However, the cause can also lie in the physical: circulatory disorders or diabetes can cause erectile dysfunction, and the problem can also be identified as a side effect of medication. Hormonal disorders or cardiovascular disease are also possible causes. There are countless possible causes, and only a specialist can determine them with certainty.
How does the examination proceed?
When a man goes to the doctor, his pants don’t come down immediately. First, there is a conversation. By asking precise questions about the problem, the doctor can rule out a number of possible illnesses, and questions about previous illnesses, surgical interventions in the past or medication use can also provide some clues. It is also important whether a spontaneous erection is noticed at night or in the morning. If so, the cause is probably not physical. In some cases, it can be helpful if the loved one participates in the conversation.
This is followed by a physical examination: the penis, testicles, and prostate are palpated to determine any circulatory problems. Circulation is also checked in the arms and legs, and blood pressure is measured. Afterwards, a blood sample is taken. This reveals possible risk factors such as high blood sugar levels or abnormal blood lipid levels. The testosterone level in the blood can also be measured this way.
Available treatment options?
In the best case scenario, the doctor will quickly identify the cause of erectile dysfunction and prescribe appropriate medication. Under no circumstances should you attempt to do this on your own; changing or stopping the pills must also be discussed with your doctor. However, these medications usually only treat the symptom, not the cause. Balancing testosterone levels can help in the long term, allowing you to regain your erection without the pill.
There are numerous other options, depending on the exact cause. A vacuum pump or implant can also offer a long-term solution. The pump places a cylinder over the penis, and the negative pressure causes the blood to flow. When the penis is erect, a penis ring prevents the blood from flowing back, keeping the penis erect.
An implant is a non-reversible operation: Some implants use saline solution to flush out a tube inside the shaft, allowing the penis to become erect at the touch of a button. Other implants are always rigid but flexible. In each case, the doctor will recommend which treatment might be appropriate. Open and honest communication is essential here.
And until then?
If your erectile dysfunction hasn’t lasted more than six months, or if you’re currently going through a difficult phase that’s more psychologically related to the problem, you’ll have to wait. Here are a few tips to help you cope:
- Be empathetic. Try to understand how important sex with you is to him and that he probably wants nothing more than to sleep with you. For him, the situation is like the theft of his masculinity. Give him the opportunity to shine elsewhere and feel like a complete man.
- It’s not you! No, he doesn’t suddenly think you’re ugly or too fat. He would if he could, and you know it. Please don’t fall into that trap and see the situation as it is. It’s definitely not about you.
- If you feel like it might be your fault, take the pressure off. If you’re going through a difficult time right now, it’s obviously affecting you too, and that’s completely okay. Talk to your best friend or cousin about how you’re feeling, but don’t take your frustration out on him. And maybe it’s better not to tell him who you talked to about it. It could make him very uncomfortable the next time they meet.
- Don’t give up on lovemaking too quickly. You can keep your love life going by doing everything else that goes with it: caressing, kissing, using a toy or two …
For him:
- You’re still you! You’re no less of a man, and certainly no less valuable, just because your penis has a mind of its own. You’re more than your penis, and you should never forget that.
- Relax. Could stress be a possible factor? Then, if possible, take a break from work, skip extra tasks and cancel unnecessary appointments. It can work wonders!
- Reflect on yourself: Try to figure out what might be causing the problem and make some changes. Too much stress? Then slow down! Unhealthy diet? Then try changing your diet. Maybe you haven’t exercised in a while, or you’ve generally noticed that you’re feeling sad or angry. Question your behavior and feelings; perhaps enlightenment will come naturally.
- Distract yourself. There’s so much more to you and your relationship than just sex. Do something fun together, treat yourself to an evening with your friends, or pursue your hobby a little more. Clearing your mind of worries can lift an incredible burden.
- Your love life isn’t dead! Live out your desires with your loved one in a different way and try out new techniques. Gentle caresses and soft stroking can still bring you closer. Depending on your taste, you can explore her sex toys and perhaps pick up a dildo or two. Perhaps you’ll discover a new passion for each other?
We sincerely hope that we’ve been able to alleviate some of your fears and that you can now approach the topic with a little more sensitivity and ease. Knowledge is power, right?
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