You’ve always liked your woman’s ass. One evening things get a bit more adventurous. You slap her on the butt. A few weeks later you’re spending way more time thinking about her ass than you used to. A few months after that you catch yourself paying attention to butts in the gym, and you wonder if you have acquired a fetish somewhere along the way.
The question is very interesting. Sexual preferences do not sit in tidy separate boxes. Spanking, ass rimming, ass worship, and general butt-focused kinks and fetishes all live in overlapping territory, and once you have started paying serious attention to one of them, the others tend to be within reach. What is less obvious is whether one activity is genuinely capable of producing a fetish that didn’t exist, or whether repeated pleasurable experiences simply pull an existing attraction into the light where you finally notice it.
Why these kinks overlap so naturally
Anilingus, spanking, and ass worship all put attention on the same part of the body. They do it in very different ways, but the shared focus is the point. If you have one of these fetishes, you are not far from being at least curious about the others. If you’re already into spanking, you definitely see her anus while you do it, and you may want to stick your tongue in there at some point. If not, it’s ok, you’re allowed to just enjoy the view.
Spanking can be vanilla foreplay, part of a full BDSM configuration, or anything in between. Anilingus can be a piece of ordinary sexual exploration, foreplay or part of a highly ritualised worship dynamic. Ass worship covers everything from “I really like looking at her ass” to structured BDSM practices like face sitting. What all these have in common is the object of desire.
Once attention is pointed that way often enough, it tends to become permanent. If it counts as developing a fetish is a good question.
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Spanking can change the meaning of a body part
Here is one thing spanking definitely does: it gives the butt more importance. What was previously “just” an attractive body part becomes the site of anticipation, sensation, vulnerability, and, in most couples who love spanking, a small ongoing negotiation of who is in charge of what.
The ass gets many associations. Not just visual attraction or tactile appeal. Now also the feel of a hand connecting, the sound, even the aftermath. For someone who was already attracted to butts in a general way, all of that piles on top of the existing attraction and makes it more prominent. What used to be barely noticeable becomes a very conscious realization.
Whether this counts as spanking “causing” a fetish or spanking “revealing” one that was already there is genuinely hard to answer. Careful language matters. Spanking may strengthen an association, may upgrade an existing kink, could push someone across a threshold from mild appreciation into something more organised. The word “cause” may be too much.
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What about anilingus?
Anilingus is a combination of intimacy, trust, taboo, sensation, and giving or receiving direct attention to her ass produces a particularly strong sensory and emotional bundle. Men who enjoy ass rimming describe the experience as more focused on the region (partialism) than any comparable practice they had experienced before.
Whether repeated good experiences with anilingus can make the ass more important to someone’s sexual imagination is possible. In fact, any highly rewarding experience linked to a particular body part is likely to keep that body part in mind. Whether that plausibility rises to the level of “anilingus can create an ass fetish in someone who did not have one” is a much bigger claim. The psychology research does not support it strongly.
What is more likely to happen: a man who tries and enjoys anilingus was already interested in the ass. Ass rimming does not create a kink from nothing. It provides the setting in which that attraction becomes obvious.
Where ass worship fits in
Ass worship is a broader category of focused erotic attention to the butt – admiration, kissing, touching, licking, verbal praise. It can exist as a straightforward sexual preference or as part of a structured worship or D/s dynamic.
Ass worship is often where men identify themselves as having an ass fetish rather than just enjoying particular activities. The naming matters. Once someone has a word for what they respond to, they usually recognise the pattern in themselves more clearly and pursue it more deliberately.
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Can you actually develop a fetish?
Are sexual fetishes fixed at some early point and then discovered later, or are they built up over time through the experiences a person has?
The real answer is somewhere in the middle. Sexual arousal can be influenced by learning and association. Experimental research has demonstrated forms of sexual conditioning under controlled conditions. Both, Spiering, Everaerd and colleagues have shown that aspects of sexual arousal can be conditioned unconsciously in laboratory settings. Pfaus and colleagues have documented the broader relationship between sexual experience, reward, and learned response patterns.
The important qualification is that the evidence base is much thinner than psychology suggests. O’Donohue and Plaud’s systematic review of the conditioning-and-human-sexual-arousal literature concluded that the methodological limitations across studies made strong claims about sexual conditioning in humans difficult to defend. The gap between “arousal can be conditioned in some experimental conditions” and “specific sexual activities reliably produce specific fetishes in ordinary life” is enormous, and nobody has firmly closed it.
Translation: the sexual system is capable of forming associations. It is not a simple input-output machine that reliably produces the fetish you feed it.
Maybe the fetish was already there
The more interesting explanation for most cases. If you think spanking gave you an ass fetish, maybe you didn’t start from a neutral position. Maybe you have been paying more attention to butts but didn’t realize it. Your sex fantasies might have been organised around the ass long before and something introduced you to it. Pornography or general visual culture might have reinforced the fetish across years of casual exposure.
Then you have tried spanking or anilingus, enjoyed it, and interpreted the enjoyment as new. In many cases it wasn’t. Licking her ass provided a context in which the existing attention finally had somewhere to go, and you suddenly had both a name and a set of practices to pursue it through.
This sounds a lot like developing a fetish. But developing and discovering are not the same thing, and the difference matters for anyone trying to understand their own sexuality honestly.
Why one kink leads down a rabbit hole
The overlap between these kinks can produce something that looks like escalation without necessarily involving new preferences being created. General attraction to her ass makes spanking more appealing. Enjoying spanking pulls attention toward the visual dimension of her butt. Visual attention feeds into curiosity about worship-type practices. Worship-type practices open the door to anilingus. Anilingus deepens interest in the whole area. Six months later he is genuinely more attracted to butt play than he was before, and it feels like escalation because the activities they are doing keep changing.
What is really happening in most cases is that his existing fetish is expressing itself through progressively more configurations. The interest was there. The vocabulary and the practices were not.
Some people stop at one kink and never try anything further. Others discover a much bigger fetish and keep going. Neither pattern is more normal than the other, and neither predicts what any given man will find exciting.
A brief detour: oily spanking
Somewhere along the drift from casual spanking into something more deliberate, some couples encounter oily spanking and never quite look back. The setup is simple. A thin layer of oil, lotion, or moisture goes on the skin before the impact starts, and the whole practice changes character in ways neither partner was expecting.
Two things happen. The impact itself sharpens. Oiled or damp skin produces a distinctly different sting than dry skin does, and enthusiasts report the sensation as more concentrated, more immediate, and more likely to register at lower levels of force. What was a moderate spanking dry becomes something considerably more attention-grabbing wet.
The other thing that happens is visual. Oil on skin catches light. Marks show up differently. Movement reads differently. The whole scene acquires a glossy quality that dry spanking doesn’t have, and for visual fetishists, adding oil to the equation is the closest thing to switching on a second channel of the same programme. For couples who have already noticed that they respond to the visual side of ordinary spanking, oily spanking tends to amplify the response.
Whether this counts as a separate kink or as an accessory to the broader impact play interest doesn’t really need answering. It sits inside the same family of butt-focused interests, and it is one of the practices people tend to discover along the way.
When spanking meets anal fingering
The other pairing that people with any ass fetish tend to work out on their own eventually. Spanking on the outside, fingering on the inside, happening at the same time.
The reason the combination works is not just the arithmetic of doing two things at once. The nerves supplying the whole region are closely linked, primarily through the pudendal nerve, and stimulating the external and internal surfaces together produces a physical response that is more than the sum of the two practices done separately. This is sometimes called erotic stimulus summation, which is a fancy way of saying that two stimuli at the same time produce something both stimuli alone could not.
The sensory contrast is the other half of the appeal. Spanking is sharp, external, impact-driven, and momentary. Fingering is blunt, internal, pressure-driven, and continuous. Combining them puts her in the middle of two completely different physical registers happening at once, and for men who love ass play, the combination is often where the practice reaches its most concentrated form.
Psychologically the pairing also does substantial work. Impact play carries its own power reading. Anal fingering carries its own intimacy and vulnerability reading. Stacking them produces an encounter that is simultaneously physically intense and emotionally exposed in a way neither practice alone quite reaches. Couples who have been exploring butt fetishes for a while tend to arrive at this combination sooner or later, and men with an ass fetish usually include anal fingering in their normal sex life.
Attention that starts general narrows into specific practices. Some practices reinforce each other. What began as a strong attraction to her butt ends up as a much more organised set of activities that all point in the same direction.
Does enjoying one thing mean you have an ass fetish?
Enjoying licking her ass does not mean you have an ass fetish. Someone can enjoy it because of the intimacy, the taboo, the sensation, the pleasure of giving pleasure or the submission.
Enjoying spanking her does not mean you have an ass fetish either. Someone can enjoy spanking because of the impact, the power exchange, the submission and dominance dynamic, the anticipation, the ritual, or the emotional arc.
Conversely, someone with a strong genuine ass fetish may or may not enjoy either activity. The fetish and the practices are related categories but not the same thing.
Can spanking or anilingus lead to an ass fetish?
Possibly, in the sense that pleasurable, repeated experiences can strengthen the sexual associations tied to a particular body part and make an existing preference more prominent. But direct causation, in the sense of activities reliably manufacturing fetishes out of neutral ground, has not been proven. Most cases of what looks like developing a fetish are better described as discovering, naming, or intensifying a fetish that was already present.
Sometimes sexual exploration does not create new kinks, it just reveals how interested you already were. Spanking and ass rimming are two of the practices that most reliably do this revealing when it comes to butt-focused attention. Whether the ass fetish was there all along or whether it developed through the experience is often impossible to disentangle in any individual case, and the honest answer is that the psychology research does not draw the line as cleanly as any of us would like it to.
What can be said with confidence is that these kinks overlap, they reinforce each other in practice, and if you find yourself drawn to one of them often you end up drawn to several. Whether you call that developing a fetish or discovering one is up to you.
Sources
- O’Donohue, W., & Plaud, J. J. (1994). The conditioning of human sexual arousal. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 23(3), 321-344. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8024444/
- Both, S., Spiering, M., Laan, E., Belcome, S., van den Heuvel, B., & Everaerd, W. (2008). Unconscious classical conditioning of sexual arousal: Evidence for the conditioning of female genital arousal to subliminally presented sexual stimuli. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 5(1), 100-109. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17971104/
- Pfaus, J. G., Kippin, T. E., & Centeno, S. (2001). Conditioning and sexual behavior: A review. Hormones and Behavior, 40(2), 291-321. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11534994/
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About STI Risk and Oral Sex. https://www.cdc.gov/sti/about/about-sti-risk-and-oral-sex.html
- Featured image: pornpics.com