The erotic art of bondage originates from BDSM. It’s a sexual practice involving role-playing around submission and domination. The dominance of the Domina or Master is primarily expressed through the restraint of the slave. Those who practice this fetish use specialized bondage toys, which are described in more detail in this guide.
The classic: The handcuffs
For those who prefer to be particularly securely restrained, handcuffs are indispensable during lovemaking. Couples who use this tool often enjoy role-playing, for which further fetish accessories are available. This allows both partners to slip into the roles of a crook and a police officer, reenact an interrogation, and devise a justifiable punishment for the submissive partner. Another popular choice is the classic master and servant relationship.
When choosing handcuffs, neutral handcuffs without plush or fur are recommended, especially if both partners enjoy taking turns being restrained. Men may find it weird to be restrained in pink plush. Leather cuffs are the best, as they have a bigger contact surface than the metallic ones and won’t stop your blood flow.
If you hate the cold feel against your skin, just go with a leather, plastic or fabric. Avoid handcuffs that can tighten during lovemaking, as they can restrict blood flow. If you need to clean your handcuffs, there are special solutions like Steri-Cuff or Break Free CLP, that will not affect the locking mechanism or the appearance of the metal.
Role-playing games
Even in steamy role-playing scenarios, restraints and handcuffs can be used. Tastes vary, so some are content simply being tied to the bed and surrendering to their partner’s caresses. Blindfolding while helplessly bound to the bedposts can also be a source of pleasure. Completely surrender to your partner’s charms and ideas, and you will experience an unprecedented erotic sensation. How you choose to use them-whether you engage in a role-playing scenario where the woman is the dominatrix and the man the submissive, or simply restrain each other – is entirely up to you. There are no limits to your imagination; let your fantasies run wild.
Restraints with chains and bondage sets
A wide variety of materials can be used for bondage.
- Chains represent an improvement over handcuffs and are available in all sorts of colors and sizes.
- Nipple clamps and chains, for example, are attached to the nipples and, if necessary, connected to other body zones.
- For example, if it’s an extension of a chastity belt, it can also be locked with a key and used in sadomasochistic role-playing. You can also buy chains at a hardware store if the standard versions from sex shops aren’t sufficient or adequate for your needs.
- Furthermore, so-called bondage harnesses as sets are strapped around several zones of the body, giving the active part of the erotic game complete control over the partner with one movement.
- The sets often include blindfolds, which literally take the erotic tension to its peak. Wearing such a blindfold also sharpens the senses.
- Gags completely disempower the submissive partner and add new dimensions to lovemaking.
Restraints with ropes
Bondage is all about relinquishing control. The feeling of complete powerlessness and helplessness is best achieved with ropes. When choosing ropes, you should opt for the softest possible ropes (made of cotton). The restraints can usually be adjusted to the desired length, allowing both partners many flexible options. Shibari is particularly extensive, featuring a wide variety of knots. The standard ropes are approximately 8 mm thick and are especially well-suited for knots.
Ropes made of hemp should only be used by bondage professionals, as the risk of injury is high with these materials. If you prefer something softer you can opt for felt,which promises a pleasurable experience without scratching and bruising. When tying up your partner, you should ensure that the restraints are tight enough to prevent them from freeing themselves. However, ropes that are too tight can cause injuries and chafing, significantly diminishing the pleasure of the lovemaking.
Blood circulation can be restricted if the restraints are too tight, so some experience is necessary. You should ask your Sub whether the restraints are too tight or too loose. The advantage of using ropes lies clearly in the aspect of cleaning. Ropes can easily be washed in the washing machine without losing their quality.
Safety rules for tying up and gagging
- Anyone engaging in bondage play as a slave should get to know their partner well beforehand to prevent being exploited by a sadist. It helps to have a trusted person present as an observer. Another safety precaution is booking a session with a BDSM escort – they are professional and they are bound to respect your agreement.
- Before the role-playing begins, a safe word must be agreed upon, which must be used to immediately end the role-playing and release any restraints. More information about the safe word can be found here.
- Similarly, limits should be defined before the session begins, so that boundaries are respected. Everyone has taboos.
- Too tight restraints can cause injuries or constrict limbs, so they should be checked regularly throughout the role-playing session. They must not slip onto joints or tighten too much.
- It is essential to keep the airways clear.
- A gag that is loose can be swallowed and can lead to suffocation. Use only specially designed, non-breathable gag balls with straps.
- A restrained Sub can suffer muscle cramps or panic attacks. Therefore, especially with inexperienced users, easily releasable carabiners should be used instead of ropes with complicated knots. Or at least have some scissors nearby.
- Due to the aforementioned dangers, a restrained person should never be left alone.
The erotic bondage adventure
Whether chains, ropes, or handcuffs – in the realm of BDSM, there are countless, even endless, ways to indulge your desires. With a little love and trust, bondage promises to be a highly erotic adventure. After the role-playing session, the Dom and the Sub should discuss what was very arousing and what could be improved. You can learn how to make bondage even more exciting in our BDSM guide on hot wax and how every woman should bring her bound man to absolute orgasm. For longer-term BDSM relationships, a slave contract is a good option.