Many submissive men have the same idea of what a dominant woman should be like. These ideas sound more like a cartoon of a FemDom. They want a woman who’s constantly dressed in high heels and latex, wielding a whip. Sure, that can be fun – in moderation. But we’re looking for real relationships where, if she feels like it, she can wear pajamas while pleasurably tormenting her submissive man.
Is it possible for a dominant woman to have balance in her life, and be dressed up only part of the time, or does she have to wear a corset and high patent leather boots for the rest of her life, just to be taken seriously as a dominant woman? Doesn’t that sound like a punishment, for a submissive?
When imagining a femdom, we picture a tall, sexy woman in fishnet stockings, high heels and black latex that goes with her bright red lips. Like that is the only standard uniform for any dominatrix if she wants to be taken seriously. This strong woman is what most people imagine when they think of a dominatrix. It’s portrayed that way in porn, games and on TV, fueling the fantasy of what a dominant woman should be. But is Catwoman always wearing her action suit?
Do submissive men want such a dominatrix?
Yes, of course, there are plenty of men who are looking for exactly that, otherwise we wouldn’t see such images everywhere. Which is perfectly fine. A man has the right to be attracted by this perfect dominatrix. it’s allowed to turn him on.
If that look is the only thing that a submissive man is looking for in a dominant woman, then he’s not really looking for a domination-submission relationship, but for a BDSM adventure. That man wants the fantasy, not the woman who offers it, who eventually swaps her boots for slippers and her latex catsuit for pajamas while sitting in front of the TV watching a movie.
Professional Dominatrix or FemDom?
There are indeed many men who fantasize about a dominatrix when they think of a dominant woman. This image is especially prevalent when they are new to the world of D/s and BDSM . It’s the only concept they have of what a dominant woman should look like. A FemDom without this ‘ uniform ‘ doesn’t appear dominant. A woman who plays a role in a session, with all the trappings, looks like a dominatrix and is therefore THE dominatrix.
Therefore, they are looking for this experience, for the fulfillment of their fantasy, not for a partnership. I believe they are hoping for the free version of a professional dominatrix who, if possible, also has a dungeon at home or the famous playroom with a thousand whips on the wall.
If a man wants exactly this image of a dominant woman, that’s fine, but then he should look among professional dominatrixes and pay for it.
There are FemDoms who do that at home too, but I understand you’re not one of them. So it’s important that you convey that in your search.
Our tip for FemDoms: describe your fantasies as precisely as possible.
We assume you’re looking for a submissive partner online. Please be as open as possible about yourself and your preferences in your profile. It’s not just about the kinks or practices you like or dislike – those only make up a small part. It’s much more important that you state what you’re looking for in a committed relationship and that aren’t available for short-term encounters.
Why don’t you write down a short scene of how you imagine it? Write about yourself as a dominant woman, sitting in your pajamas in front of the TV while your partner serves as your table. Or about you sitting in a movie theater and him having to wear his chastity belt while you secretly caress him – or whatever your fantasies may be.
Dress however you like
There is no uniform for a dominant woman. You can wear whatever you want.
There’s no right or wrong – a FemDom isn’t better or worse than a Domina. It’s simply a different form, a different lifestyle. What’s important is that you find a submissive man who suits your style, your way of expressing your dominant side, whether in pajamas or not.