Talking about sex is fortunately no longer taboo. However, some people still find it difficult to speak openly about certain topics. This is primarily due to the fear of the other person’s reactions when it comes to something that isn’t normal. This includes certain sexual preferences, such as BDSM. It would be so much easier if we could just talk about it openly.
There’s plenty of room for experimentation in BDSM. Various concepts like domination, submission, pain, and pleasure allow for numerous different variations. If you’d like to try out whether BDSM is for you, but don’t know how to talk about it with your partner, you should definitely read on. We are here to support you with valuable tips on this important topic. These tips focus on mutual respect and how to live out your preferences together.
Communication
Choose the right time : The conversation you want to have isn’t just any conversation. Therefore, it’s important that both of you give yourself enough time and approach the conversation in a relaxed manner. If that’s not possible, consider postponing the conversation until later.
Don’t pressure her
In BDSM, all participants must consent to all activities (as with any other preferences, practices, and inclinations). Therefore, don’t try to persuade your partner by any means necessary. Instead, allow them to freely express their opinion on your proposal and set their own boundaries.
Be open and honest
Speak openly about your idea and don’t hide behind vague formulations. BDSM is also about hard sex, dominance, and discipline. Therefore, explain clearly how you envision the BDSM project and what you expect.
Get informed
Research the topic of BDSM. Read up, watch films and learn about the different practices and accessories used (for example, did you know that you can use a speculum as a sex toy?). This way, you can start your new sex project with optimal preparation.
Determine the types of play
Decide in advance which direction you want to take and which practices you want to try (for exampleWax Play). Also discuss the intensity with which you want to apply the practices. By considering together the context in which your experiment should take place, you will also define the boundaries you should not cross.
Accessories
There are numerous different sex toys and accessories for BDSM play that can be used for various types of play. If you’re not sure which BDSM accessories might be of interest to you, let us advise you:
- Various BDSM accessories : head mask, bondage rope, whip, fetish clothing. You have endless possibilities to adapt your erotic play to your preferences. Take your time to browse any sexshop and compare the available items. Or book an incall BDSM escort and observe her toys! Get inspired and gather ideas for your first time in BDSM.
- BDSM accessories based on your experience level. If you’re new to BDSM, you should initially focus on accessories for beginners. Plush-trimmed handcuffs, feather ticklers, and an eye mask are a good introduction to the world of BDSM.
- Test session for new BDSM accessories. It can be helpful to try out the new BDSM accessories in a relaxed atmosphere before the first “real” session. The test session is a good opportunity to talk with her again and agree on which sexual practices you want to engage in, in what form and intensity.
Respect for yourself and your partner
Breaking down stereotypes. BDSM doesn’t mean that in a heterosexual relationship, the man must necessarily take on the dominant role and the woman the passive one. Forget the stereotypes imposed by society or those in your head and decide for yourself how you want to fulfill and shape your roles in BDSM role play. BDSM can be practiced completely freely, so basically anything is possible (always provided there is mutual respect).
Show creativity. No two BDSM sessions are the same. You and your partner are the main actors. This means you decide how you want to live out your preferences. Let your imagination run wild and take advantage of this unique opportunity to shape your sex life completely freely and individually. BDSM requires a lot of creativity, as long as everyone involved consents to all the activities and mutual respect and safety are guaranteed.
Set a safeword. A clear safeword is important should one person want to end the BDSM session immediately. It gives you the security of knowing you can step out of your role and interrupt any activity at any time. At the same time, it strengthens the trust in your relationship.