Good old dirty movies showed us this as a teenager: sex should be long, intense, and dirty. Sometimes, these films go on for more than an hour, with wild sex without a seeming break until morning comes. But we all know that this isn’t reality. Who the hell can last almost an hour in the craziest positions a la Cirque du Soleil?! And what’s wrong with men? How can they avoid coming for so long while an incredibly hot dream woman is sliding all over them? There are two explanations for this: the films are cleverly edited so that little breaks are inserted in between, OR there are clever tricks used to make men last longer.
Cumming too early is a common problem in bedrooms all over the world. Well, it’s only a problem as long as it’s incompatible with the man himself or with his lover. If your lover likes it short and sweet, great! But unfortunately, the reality is usually different.
It’s a devastating feeling for men to know that their partner may not have gotten pleasure from sex. Or that they were hoping for a longer lasting lovemaking session. It’s uncomfortable, painful, and can even lead to depression. Fear of failure and shame are the consequences. And it’s precisely this jumble of thoughts that only upsets them further. They suffer from frustration, avoid sex, and a vicious cycle develops.
Around 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation
But what does “premature ejaculation” mean? In medical terms, it refers to a premature orgasm that occurs within the first minute of penetration. But it depends much more on the man’s personal perception or what he feels when he ejaculates too early.
But the good news is: lasting longer during sex can definitely be learned!
Premature ejaculation leads to:
- Psychological suffering such as fear of failure, loss of control, internal pressure / stress, low self-esteem and even severe depression. The man feels degraded in his gender and unworthy of his partner.
- Erectile dysfunction caused by psychological factors.
- An unhappy relationship, because the man wants to avoid sex as much as possible to avoid being exposed or is afraid of ejaculating too early again. The woman may be dissatisfied and feel her desires are not being satisfied – affairs or a relationship crisis are the main reasons here.
Premature ejaculation is caused by:
- Nervousness and excitement during sexual intercourse. Pressure to perform, stress, and depression promote premature ejaculation.
- Excessive consumption of alcohol.
- The diabetes mellitus disease.
- Hypersensitivity of the skin of the penis, which is why sex is perceived as particularly intense.
Important: premature ejaculation usually has a psychological cause, but physical symptoms should be examined beforehand!
Before you rush to the nearest pharmacy, we’d like to remind you which remedies you should NOT use, and why:
- Mind wandering. Yes, we’ve all heard it before: “Think about something disgusting during sex and you’ll last longer!” The idea behind it might be nice, but who wants to think about unkempt toenails or stomach flu during sex with their lover? Often, the exact opposite happens: you get way too caught up in your thoughts, and your arousal disappears. And what woman likes knowing that her husband is thinking about something completely different?
- Viagra and other medications or erectile dysfunction drugs – Many medications promise the moon. “You’ll be able to last longer than ever before”, “Your partner will thank you”, “Your desire will increase immeasurably” Some medications certainly can, but think about it: is it really worth it to you to change your body with toxins that only promise temporary relief? Well, everyone has to decide for themselves, but let us tell you one thing: after the empty pack of pills, there will be another. And another. And another..
- Alcohol. In small amounts, alcohol is a quite effective way to delay ejaculation. But I won’t even get into that here, because the fact is: alcohol damages your body and won’t do you any good except give you a headache and an upset stomach!
What REALLY helps for longer sex in the short term
- A cock ring is pulled over the shaft of the penis like a cuff, where it wraps tightly around the shaft during an erection, blocking blood flow. The result: blood can no longer flow back to the body, which means arousal lasts longer and the man can last longer during sex. And the best part? There are many different types of cock rings. So that your loved one doesn’t miss out, there are also cock rings with clitoral stimulation. These provide optimal pressure and are specially designed for precise clitoral stimulation. This way, you both can enjoy lovemaking to the fullest.
- Of course you can also choose a classic cock ring. Without vibration it fits snugly around the shaft and prevents premature climax. A cock ring set is particularly worthwhile for beginners to find the right cock ring for their penis. The cock ring should fit nicely and tightly. It should not pull down slightly or even the opposite case, where the penis turns blue after a few seconds, should happen under any circumstances. You can find a lot of models in sexshops, both physical and online. Choosing it will be easier if you measure your penis beforehand (please do so when it is erect). So get a tape measure out and use the size charts found on most online sex shops.
- Delay cream delays orgasm. The cream allows a man to last longer by numbing the penis. Simply apply the cream to the penis. Wait until it’s absorbed before engaging in sexual activity. Please always be sure to do a quick skin test. Apply a small amount of the cream to your skin and see if you experience any irritation. This way, you can avoid unpleasant itchy sensations. 😉
- The “million-dollar spot” is also a clever technique for preventing a man from ejaculating. It’s located between the anus and the testicles. If you press this spot at the right moment, just before the man ejaculates, it prevents ejaculation – this leads to “injaculation.” In other words, the sperm flows back into the prostate, and the man experiences incredible orgasms. Arousal remains, and you can continue right away.
- Proper breathing is important during sex. If he breathes too shallowly and too quickly, he automatically tenses up, which leads to premature ejaculation. On the other hand, if he breathes deeply and into his belly (or even his testicles), his body relaxes, allowing him to last longer.
- Changing positions can also work wonders! If you notice you’re close to orgasm , it’s recommended to simply change positions. This temporarily lowers the arousal, so you have to work toward climax again, or you can devote yourself to oral sex, which provides significant relaxation for both sexes. A great side effect: changing positions frequently brings a breath of fresh air into the bedroom and is simply fun!
- The “in-out-stop” method can be quite tricky, which is why it requires a strong awareness: just before the man is about to climax, she stops all movement. He stays with his penis in the vagina, and you meticulously ensure that no one moves. Now you wait until the arousal has slowly subsided. The man will know when he can continue without climaxing immediately. You can use this time to simply gaze into each other’s eyes or to lovingly caress and massage each other.
- Condoms – There are also condoms coated with a layer of numbing gel. The same principle applies here. The same applies to thicker condoms , which are designed to dampen the tingling sensation of friction. But be careful, gentlemen, not every woman is “bubbling” with joy from the very beginning during sex, so it’s recommended to use a lubricant.
Be careful: condoms can also break! To prevent this, inserting them should be done while you’re still wet, to avoid a horrified “Oh God! What now?” later on.
And what provides a longer-term solution:
- Meditation should be your first step if you want a fulfilling sex life in the future. With simple meditation exercises, you can learn to control your thoughts, sort them out during sex, and focus on what’s truly important. Meditation isn’t just for sex; it will also help you think clearly and be happier in everyday life. Teach yourself to identify your own thoughts and thus simply become more mentally relaxed.
- Pelvic floor exercises aren’t just a great way for women to keep their inner muscles fit and flexible. Yes, dear men, you too have the chance to have a toned lower body. Have you ever stopped urinating while peeing? Then you’ll know which muscles we’re referring to. These are also responsible for directing and controlling ejaculation. If you train these muscles regularly, you’ll regain a sense of control and be able to decide for yourself when you want to ejaculate.
- You should include yoga exercises in your daily routine. Yoga not only enriches your mind, but also keeps you physically fit and provides deep relaxation, which is important for all aspects of our lives.
- Masturbation exercises are also an effective way to get to know yourself and your body better. Spend at least 20 minutes on this. Lie down comfortably on the bed or wherever you are most comfortable and begin to masturbate. Don’t try to orgasm as quickly as possible; don’t watch porn while doing it; just focus on your thoughts. You can also try out different toys . You should pay attention to when you’re about to reach the point where you’re about to climax. Play with your tension and test which ones you feel particularly aroused with and which ones are counterproductive. You can then skillfully use the learned technique during lovemaking.
- Of course, you can also create a change for yourself. Have you ever considered turning your lovemaking into a massage for yourself? Focus on your moves and yourself, listen to yourself, and identify the “stop point.”. Learn targeted moves, not only for your best part, but also how to pamper your partner to the fullest. Are you already in a state of excitement just by taking off your clothes? Practice these massages together and learn to enjoy your pleasure more and take your time.
- Deep thrusts also help, although “thrusts” isn’t quite the right word. Try to stay deep inside your partner and move very slowly. This minimizes friction, and it’s a promise that your lover will experience a whole new level of arousal!
Practice makes perfect
What you need with all these methods is patience. You should always stick with it and not lose sight of the goal. No one is born a master, so you should be clear about why you’re doing all this.
You should talk openly with your partner about the problem and first reflect on the extent to which you’re in your current situation. If she says that’s enough for her, then congratulations: nothing stands in the way of a fulfilling love life!
However, if you feel that your premature ejaculation is a widespread problem, then you should not be afraid to consult an expert.
Sex should be fun and fulfilling. It’s a long journey for all of us, one we should all be happy to take, because sex is liberating, relaxing, frees us from everyday problems, and is even healthy!
And finally, a piece of advice:
Women are more simple than you think. Have you ever considered really working ourselves to the limit during foreplay? Pushing ourselves to the limit, but repeatedly denying ourselves that release (edging, shallowing, tease and denial)? Whether it’s with your fingers, your tongue, a skilled massage on the right spots, or with one of our many toys. Let us beg for that long-awaited climax; it only takes seconds.
This way, you too can skillfully give in to your climax in seconds – without any stress or bad thoughts – and then sink happily into your partner’s arms.
Turn off your mind and savor the moment for a happy sex life.
If nothing works, just book a mature escort and she’ll teach you some tricks to make you last longer. Our girls won’t judge you. And you’ll love it. And it’s probably cheaper than a therapist. And you don’t get to fuck the therapist.