Sadism & Masochism

Sadism and masochism are about obtaining sexual pleasure from pain. One by causing it, the other by receiving it. Sadists get pleasure from causing pain, humiliation or dominating the others, and masochists experience arousal and satisfaction through their own pain and stinging sensations.

How do you get pleasure from pain?

Pain triggers a chemical reaction in our bodies in which endorphins are released from glands in your brain, creating an euphoric feeling.
Sadists often enjoy controlling their partner, while masochists can let go through giving up control.
For some people, pain serves as a release valve for stress management or emotional release.

Practical Applications in BDSM

Sadism and masochism can take many forms. Some of these most common BDSM practices are:

Physical pain

Spanking – stroking with the hand or paddles
Whipping – stroking with a whip
Caning – using rods for intense strokes
Trampling – stepping heavily on someone, causing pain
Needle play – using needles or pointed objects to induce controlled pain
CBT – applying pain or constriction to the cock and balls.
Painal – it’s basically anal sex, but it’s rought enough that it hurts her a little, and that pain adds to his pleasure too. Maybe this one is not so S&M.

Emotional control

Verbal humiliation: Derogatory language or role-playing
Power games: Domination and submission in a psychological context
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent): Staged power games with predetermined limits

Sensorial perception

Waxplay – dripping melted wax on the naked body, creates a heat sensation, but the anticipation and the intimacy also play a role. Use special candles for waxplay. These melt at lower temperatures and don’t burn the skin.
Electroplay – using electrostimulation with low-voltage electrical currents to sensitive body parts (nipples, clitoris, labia, penis, perineum, even prostate), creating sensations tingling sensations.
Sensorial deprivation – restriction of the senses to make pain feel more intense. It’s like a blindfold for blocking the sight; you can also block smell, sound, touch, taste or combinations of them.

What about safety in sadomasochism?

Sadomasochism is associated with intense physical and psychological stimulation, therefore clear rules are important. There are 3 main directions that need to be dealt with before engaging in sadomasochism: agreement, safety and psych.

Agreement and Communication

SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual). Every action must be safe, sane, and consensual.
RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Partners should be aware of the risks and discuss them.
Safewords. Clear safewords prevent damage. Some examples: Apple, Red, Pineapple, Banana, Yellow, Safeword, Mercy, Oklahoma (these are the most used safewords in the world). You’re in London, so for you maybe it’s Blyth in Northumberland or North Ascot in Berkshire, but how are you going to use those!? Yes, those are the least sexy places in the entire UK, and that’s because people in these 2 places spend the least on adult products.

Physical safety

Knowledge about your pain thresholds & medical risks
Adequate aftercare to ensure emotional and physical recovery. This includes cuddling, talking, rehydrating, showering and so on.
Use of safe, special materials and equipment, specially designed for BDSM.

Psychological aspects

There should be no pressure or manipulation to engage in BDSM practices.
Pay attention to emotional reactions, especially after intense sessions.
Never cross boundaries, as trust is at the basis of every BDSM practice.