As is well known, someone who starts jogging can suffer terribly from the exertion and unfamiliar movement, but a few months later the morning jogging session has become a pleasurable experience: one can become addicted to it, say many who enjoy running.
Over time, the body adapts, learns to make the best of the new demands, and releases helpful hormones that make the formerly painful exertion pleasant.
Sometimes “flying” is not enough
It’s not much different with forms of masochistic pleasure: It’s LEARNABLE to enjoy a flogging session. With increasing practice and a competent Dom or Dominatrix, the pain threshold rises. What used to only hurt becomes a pleasant massage – and when this happens at a high intensity level, the released endorphins make the whole thing an impressive, euphoric experience. Some call it “flying”.
It’s actually wonderful – isn’t it? Some people run marathons, others enjoy getting beaten up, what’s the problem?
From many forum discussions and from our own experience, we know that it’s not entirely unproblematic when a once painful and correspondingly upsetting experience degenerates into “interesting bodyplay.” Masochism has many facets, not just the one that transforms pain into physical pleasure and then simply enjoys it.
The longing for the borderline
There is also a longing for pain that remains pain in the sensation itself, because confronting it is a challenge that opens the door to other realms of experience, beyond the landscape of simple pleasures. Exposing oneself to what one usually avoids is an adventure that must be undertaken – be it because there are reasons for it in one’s personal history, or because one has so successfully pacified one’s so-called “normal life” that a longing for the drastic, for intense emotional surges, arises, which the psyche simply wants to experience again.
What one wants from a session on the sub / masochistic side, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, can therefore differ drastically:
- Simply enjoy the intoxication (which should ideally continue indefinitely)
- OR a “rollercoaster of emotions” with high PSYCHOLOGICAL involvement and going through various “negative” feelings (anger, rage, defiance, self-pity, crying, etc.) that end in catharsis, or at least in great exhaustion.
Our experience tells us that you can’t have both at once. If, through frequent practice and habituation, the ability to transform pain into pleasure has expanded, or is perceived only as a massage stimulus, then naturally the “rollercoaster of emotions” is no longer so easily attainable. This is especially true the more at peace one is with oneself, one’s own inclinations, and one’s specific partner – meaning neither the relationship nor one’s self-image contributes to potential conflict.
Higher, faster, further?
For many, this opens the door to “higher, faster, further.” In a desperate attempt to “get into trouble,” they seek ever more intense playing styles to which their bodies are not yet accustomed, and perhaps cannot become accustomed. Some describe this as almost “addictive” and genuinely fear losing sight of what is right or still harmless. A worrying trend!
Can they be avoided? We think so! But only by reflecting on one’s own experiences and desires without prejudice and talking about them with one’s partner. This will be difficult in relationships that no longer allow for a level playing field, at least when open discussion about the sub’s needs and the Dom’s methods, their physical and psychological “session techniques,” is completely out of the question. The desire is not to “play,” everything is supposed to be “completely real,” which for many precludes any discussion of session practices.
However, it largely depends on the Dom whether and to what extent the Sub succumbs to the “higher, faster, further” mentality when a certain level of intensity no longer produces the same effects as at the beginning. Typically, the Dom also practices becoming an increasingly “better” tormentor, which almost automatically leads to optimal adaptation on the Sub’s side – that is, straight into mere “pleasurable pain,” which, while providing a pleasant rush, is no longer thrilling.
To experience that “rough” feeling again, the submissive needs to be aware of their needs and communicate with their partner. For this to happen, the Dominatrix must deliberately avoid catapulting the submissive into a state of ecstatic bliss, but rather push them to their limits – by repeatedly “treating” them in a way that disrupts and irritates them, disrupting their state of pure feeling. This requires a framework that is psychologically more demanding and conflict-ridden than if the goal were “simply” to achieve “harmonious bliss.”
Finally, we want to mention that it’s all a matter of dosage! Conflict-ridden, intense sessions that push you to your psychological and physical limits aren’t for most people every weekend. Soft BDSM, sex BDSM, sessions with a wink and a nod, and skillfully executed flagellation scenes that are driven towards pleasurable enjoyment are enjoyable and very satisfying.
But sometimes, just sometimes, subs really enjoy intense torment.
Need a dominatrix now? Give us a call and book a BDSM escort for the evening!